Last overnight shift! I am so pumped about this as my body can't take it much longer. I am exhausted and I really need a good sleep, but I will from here on out sleep when others are sleeping instead of being awake! Hurray!
I saw the film 'What to Expect' this week and really liked the part where the mother states ' I was wanting the glow, but now I found my glow (which was her baby).' I think that is what my baby will be to me as my pregnancy does not feel like a positive time right now that is full of great experiences with no hardships. Each person experiences it differently I just wasn't expecting this. I guess you never do.
So much to do this week as we are moving. It is overwhelming. I printed off a to do list today so I hope to keep that up over the next few days. Excited to have it all finished, including being pregnant. But worried aobut
So,
I just finished my last full weekend of work before I move to the big Ottawa! I am exhausted and just finished a three hour nap to celebrate the occasion and had a overly fatty 'meat lovers' pizza from Costco. I was very surprised when I didn't get heartburn from it. I guess pregnancy makes some different statements when it comes to unidentified meats.
I am feeling less nauseous these days, which has got me through this weekend. I have been having bad food cravings thought, like greasy cheesy garlic fingers and donair sauce, but no candy or sugar as of yet. Just the fatty stuff.
My spotting has stopped and my cramping has reduced so I am less worried about a miscarriage these days, which improves my mood drastically. However, my husband just left and I have to take care of all the final details before we move and that is stressing me out just thinking about it. I can do it, I am just stressed about it.
My depression right now is not seemingly obvious.as it usually is, looming on the sideline waiting to get into the game. I am very thankful for that right now. I hope it continues.
I am eating like a pig lately. My workout partner called me on it today when I ate two platefuls of deluxe nachos, and two bowls of apple slices. It is not that I am eating super bad, just a lot. I am always hungry and tired. I think that seems to sum up all those pregnant. Hungry and tired.
Work this weekend was very calm which made it less stressful. Some weekends, particularly around the full moon ironically, are awful and there is chaos for hours on end. But this weekend only had minor upsets that were taken care of swiftly and effectively. Maybe I am just getting good at my job.
Looking forward to three days off. I know, I get three days off a week so why am I so tired? Wish I could tell you, but I guess I am just pregnant.
Exhausted. Feel like vomiting. I sleep all day (slept 6 hours today during the day) and still feel exhausted. I try to work out the way I did before I was pregnant but I can't. Only every second day because I just don't have the energy right now. How can one little alien take so much energy?
On a positive note it only took two days to get back into the swing of things after the week of house hunting. Two days of being depressed and sitting on the couch doing next to nothing for hours at a time. I got some small work completed, like applying for jobs, but nothing near what I wanted to, but I did get out of the slump in two days. That is really good for me.
Working a back shift tonight, 12 hours. I haven't been up for 12 hours straight for over a week because I have been so exhausted and taking naps for the 'baby'. Trying my best to keep awake. Trying my best to do my job, which is often going above and beyond what others do. Not doing too bad today. I can do it!
So last night I had a super anger attack. I was screaming ranting and raving like a lunatic and thrashing like a two year old having a temper tantrum. I went crazy and felt this kind of anger that I just couldn't hold back. John and I were in bed and I just started yelling and he couldn't stop laughing. I told him he wasn't being supportive and he apologized but said he couldn't help it, it was funny. I guess that makes sense because I am never that angry.
After he started scratching my back I was able to calm down. It was a half hour though of this overwhelming anger. Anyone else get that?
I have also noticed that I am having more anxiety attacks, at least one a day. Now this was during my time I was in Ottawa house hunting, which is to say the least very stressful so it may have just been those circumstances. But the anxiety that happens does not feel like it is related to my surroundings but just comes out of my head because I try to think about it and I get nowhere. My head is blank but filled with anxiety. I hope these are circumstantial and not a full time thing because working becomes very hard when I am having anxiety attacks everyday and working is what keeps me sane.