I just want to note today, that I watched this commercial before I watched a 3D video about what stage my baby was at, and I cried and cried and cried. It was a commercial that was touching. I think I hit the emotional phase. I am kind of embarrassed but I have a good feeling a lot of you will be crying too so I thought I would share this moment. Love you mom. 

Since I wrote last I have been doing a lot to make myself feel less 'purposeless'. I have done a mural on the wall of my bedroom today with the help of my father in law. My vegetables are doing great and I am watering them regularly, although it rained today and it wasn't necessary. John and I cleaned the house thoroughly this weekend and it looks great and feels great! My sewing room/baby room is clean so I am really happy about that. I will likely make some baby booties tomorrow and work on some resumes. Still am jobless but I am trying to remain positive. I put my reading skills to use today and found the best deals for food for groceries and planned a menu for it. At the grocery store I saw a women who was buying food for the ladies she worked for who have intellectual disabilities (she said mentally challenged but obviously she has her political correctness wrong). It reminded me of doing grocery's for both my past jobs. And I was glad I was not doing them. 

Had a rather difficult last two days. John went back to work yesterday and as was expected I had a difficult day. I was planning on doing good things and I started the day with a five kilometre walk with my dogs. Then I made a doctors appointment and I planned on going to the gym, but the timing was off. I had to wait two hours until my gym class started so I went to lay down for a 'few minutes'. Well, needless to say my depression got the best of me and when I woke up it was noon. Then I came and sat on the couch and did nothing on the computer long enough that I forgot my doctors appointment. 

I haven’t had any time this past week to get in a post unfortunately, which may be driving some of my readers mad (sorry dad, just too busy). I have been doing a lot of ‘house making’ or what people who are pregnant like to say ‘nesting’ that has taken up a lot of my time. If those who know me are reading I have not watched a movie yet since coming to Ontario which really tells you how busy I am! So much to do and it feels like so little time, although really we have two years to do it.

We have officially fixed the front of the house so that the gardens look more like gardens and not weed patches. We have already gotten complements from the neighbours stating that it looks  better than it has in 20 years. I guess this is a  good thing. All the time of working on them though I have had the ‘morning sickness’ and tiredness which made it more difficult than I thought it would. I have gone to the doctor though and got some ‘diclectin’ which is supposed to help with the nausea, but all it has done so far is keep the constant feeling of nausea down, and replaced it with sudden urges to vomit which are followed by me vomiting. I have actually increased the amount of vomiting since starting it, and now that I am writing this down will likely call a pharmacist to figure out what to do…

We bought some Koi fish for our pond out back and I cleaned out the pond yesterday. There are three fish, one orange and black, one black and yellow, and one white with an orange spot on his forehead. They seem to like the pond but not us humans. The dogs have yet to realize they exist, although I think Merlin may have found one this morning as he looked at the pond with a cocked head. I think that once they realize there are fish there they will go to the pond more often.

I have been swimming regularly in the pool and I think it is helping stretch muscles that have not been used in a while. It is great to do back flips in the water and stretch out my stomach muscles that have been feeling rather over taxed at present with all the moving around inside. My baby is now the size of a lime so things, I think, are beginning to move around in there and it is best to keep the muscles active underneath.

I am feeling more positive about the move and the baby as we got the ultrasound and I got to see my baby moving around like it was dancing! I am beginning to feel at home here, more than  in Halifax, just with less friends surrounding me (until I make new ones of course). The community here is very welcoming and there is a pool party coming up which we will attend. Everyone here appears to be grandparents and are very excited to have another adoptive ‘grandbaby’ which I feel is how they see the baby I carry. I am glad for that, as it makes me not feel alone. 

We are in Ottawa!

It took three days and I was feeling 'morning sickness' all day everyday from eating and getting into the car and eating and sleeping... It was not a pleasant trip. However, we are in Ottawa!

It took three days and I was feeling 'morning sickness' all day everyday from eating and getting into the car and eating and sleeping... It was not a pleasant trip. However, we made it in one piece and we may or may not ship the dogs in future as they were a bit of a handful. I think the most surprising part of moving them was the looks and assumptions all the hotels made about our large dogs. One place assumed that a larger dog meant a larger mess. Not the case, great danes just sleep all day, too lazy to make a mess. The bed and breakfast we stayed at wasn't as dog friendly as we assumed it would be, or maybe just not to large dogs. It wasn't that they were against the large dogs, they just didn't want to pet them, just take akward photos. It was weird. trip. However, we are moving to our home today and we can do what we want again with our dogs which will be much better.

Feelings surrounding pregnancy really boil down to the change in John. As he mentioned, and he could be right, I may be having changes emotionally that affect my perception of him right now. I am sensing that he is a bit more impatient and lacking in humour (also could just be that he is sick), but he assures me that he is not upset. But whichever way we look at it we are not communicating as well as usual and as a result it is adding to the stress of our move. I have been extra stressed these past few days as we have been `homeless`on our trek across country. Not having a place where I can relax and not have my guard up has been very difficult on me. That, mixed with the exceptional amount of planning required to move has made me extra exhausted (on top of pregnancy exhausted) and I have been sleeping my way through the trip. There was a mishap and a potential for elongating my agony yesterday with a wrong phone number and I nearly lost it. However,  today we get our stuff and can sleep in our new place so I am starting to calm down and feel less anxious. Luckily I do recognize that these stresses are not because of my depression and simply the stress related to moving. That in a small way brings me hope.